To Be Determined

My mind moves a lot faster then I can react. Let me explain.

 I have thoughts, feelings, ideas and emotions about endless wants in my life; they just bounce from one to the next. “I’m going to do this, this, this and this.” “I’m going to write about that, that, that and that.” “I’m going to go, go, go and go.” I think of things (that i feel are monumental) but then I’m onto the next one skipping the initial thought without even knowing it! Too much, too fast just firing away in my medulla oblongata. 

So what do I do, I just shut it all down. Not act upon any of it, just push it all to the side. How lame is that?! PRETTY LAME. I know why I push things to the side, I feel that’s being one step ahead of the game, at least I tell myself that. 

Some people can compartmentalize thoughts, feelings, ideas and emotions way better than others. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, right? For me it becomes to much to manage because I try to do or handle ALL of the thoughts, feelings, ideas and emotions all at once. Insert exploding head emoji! Instead of writing down thoughts, feelings, ideas and emotions, however many there are, and attacking them one by one, I let them all scramble in my head banging into one another. Kind of like releasing the marbles in the game Hungry Hippo and trying like crazy to eat them all. Chaos, utter chaos.

Focusing on what is important, to me, not someone telling me it “should be” important, is the only way I can organize my thoughts, feelings, ideas and emotions. Pushing things to the side, avoiding potential greatness, that isn’t for me anymore. Life is to be determined by who we are individually and what sparks a fire in our soul. Take things one minute, one day, one month or one year at a time. Whatever works best for YOU. It’s taken me many moves and many years to accept that not everything has to be tackled all at once, greatness for me does not happen that way. My limbic system is re-wired and lit up like a Christmas tree, that in itself is greatness with a capital G for me. 

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