Suit of Armor

 

It’s been almost one year,  my gosh that is disappointing. While shaking my head at myself, i’m also thinking, don’t even bother. One year!! 

Are you thinking to yourself, “almost one year of what?” I get it, it really could be anything. One year is a long time, but is it? Life wouldn’t be what it is without the question of “so whats going on?” 

Almost one year of not posting a blog. That deflated me when I looked at the last entry date. Seriously? My mind never stops writing, how could I not have posted in one year? , Im writing thoughts, poems, stories, observations, and whatever else surfaces constantly. What I have realized is i’m my own issue, negative self talk; that is what stops me from writing on this blog. 

Negative thoughts, negative self talk, once we believe what we tell ourself, it’s a game changer. “No one cares what I have to say”, “who is going to be interested in this”, “i’m going to be seen as being so weird”, “does any of this even make sense.” Those are just a few of the romantic notes I send myself. 

So how does that stop? How do I karate chop those thoughts as I fire them at myself? The last blog, I sure did not keep myself accountable, I bailed on my word. And THAT stings. Not just for any of you, but I bailed on myself. Double stings. And bailed on something I enjoy doing! 

Not worrying about what others think, feel, say is a strength. It takes time to layer up the armor for that defense. There is a moment, however, when you feel the armor is at a good weight. The weight actually makes you feel light and welcomed.  It hits that “go time” button and wow, you are ready for the next step.

I’m not exactly sure what secured my suit of armor, but it’s now full body, and ready to be worn in the world.

Three, two, one….