The Break

It’s been well over a year since my last entry. The mind is a fickle thing. Just like the brain itself; there are bumps and curves, grooves and gaps that pave pathways in unknown directions. Our minds can sure take us places using all that terrain. 

I have learned through academics and experience that the brain is designed to continuously change and re-arrange itself while responding to new experiences, changes in environment, and individualized learning which is known as, one changing perspective. The past is not the way, the past does not allow for the brain to continuously grow and reorganize itself. Fickleness is not always problematic, in newness we are able to adapt and evolve, which can sharpen the mind. 

If you close your eyes and picture a brain, the organ itself, you see all of the bumps and curves, grooves and gaps I just spoke of. You see that? You see a maze with no rhyme or reason, carving out a different pattern for everyone (for the most part). What might look confusing, is an actual masterpiece. 

So why all this talk about the mind, the physical brain organ, and fickleness? The mind is intangible while the brain is not. From something you can see with your own eyes comes endless creativity, thought, emotion, and action which not everyone can see.

 I have not taken any action to write this blog in over a year. I’ve thought about it, but haven’t done it. I’ve been thinking about doing other things, trying them out, then doing more things, then not doing anything. I always come back here though.

One month ago yesterday I had to make a decision, which ended up being the hardest day of my life, and there have been many of those. I had to say goodbye to my sweet Annie. My one love with four legs who can never be replaced. The pain I experience daily, I don’t know enough words in the vocabulary to adequately explain how i’m feeling. So I use my mind to help me move through it. I activate the twists and turns, gaps and grooves of my physical brain to provide balance, and a sort of mental ease.

The break I have taken in publishing this blog has been necessary. I deeply believe everything we experience, and move through in life puts us on our unique, universal path. The science and magic of the brain is infinite. 

Annie passing away has been gut-wrenching, however, years of love now culminate. Annie’s parting gift to me is that sadness for her is easier than worrying, and she is ok. A buddhist saying I like to remind myself of time to time is “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.” I’m not screaming at the universe “how could you do that!” i’m saying “thank you for that love.” 

And then I see her face and hear her say, “Now go be even greater, mom.”