Toxic Is As Toxic Does

 

I feel like the word “toxic” is used more and more often these days. The air we breathe, the food we eat, the water we drink, the news we watch, the social media we use, the laundry detergent we use, the plastic bottles we drink out of. The list never ends. One thing I have realized though is that people are the most toxic of it all. 

Family, friends, personal relationships, they all develop over time. There is not one relationship anyone has ever had that stays “as is” from day one, it’s definitely something interesting to think about. Positive and negative, healthy and unhealthy. Those are four words that can describe relationships, amongst other things. But toxic, when used to describe a relationship, any kind of relationship, it brings the conversation to a different level. The imagery of the relationship being discussed can look like agent orange or carbon monoxide creeping into your nostrils or seeping through your pores.

We all aren’t blessed enough to have experienced toxic relationships, yup i said blessed enough. Believe me, they are a doozy at the time and for however long after, but they are our best teachers. Just like the darkness as I mentioned a few blogs ago. Moving around I experienced all of the things; good, bad, positive, negative, healthy and unhealthy. When I say all of the things I really do mean ALL of the things, no exaggeration there. Toxic was relative to many different things in my life during my moves, I’m not scared nor ashamed to admit that, but for me, the word is most relative to people. And to clarify, not all people I met or know are toxic. Hellll no. 

My last “toxic” relationship was a very personal one. And when i say last, i mean LAST, the last one I was in. Sometimes the people we think we love the most are the ones we need the furthest away from us to heal. Our worlds will crumble by losing our sense of self without us even knowing it. Manipulation, convincing, deceit, empty words and words with ammunition are just a few of the fumes I’ve inhaled. I acknowledge my responsibility in the partnership of this relationship, I became toxic myself. It becomes contagious. Which is why, when we notice or realize even a smidge that someone is toxic, for whatever reason, we have to break away. Whether it be for a certain amount of time or forever. You would think it’s easy to do, but it sure as heck isnt. Something toxic is a poison, it’s not good. Period. It can eat away at you slowly or very fast, it all depends on the circumstance. A good friend told me “stop playing the highlight reel” when you’re in pain. She was SO RIGHT. It is imperative to play the “toxic reel” because that is what will snap you back into reality to heal. The highlight reel isn’t real at all even when you love the other person so much in the highlights. 

This last move was the end of my toxic travels. My gas mask no longer has to be on because now I can breath clean air. The poison is now someone else’s to ingest. How much poison can we tolerate before enough is enough? Well, I would say that varies from person to person but hopefully there eventually is a breaking point. Toxic is as toxic does and it will never be good for you. Only until you realize what a blessing it is to have escaped it. Then the poison becomes purity and transformation begins.